GermanFest

Milwaukee's original Haus party was an all around excellent time. GermanFest celebrated its 30th Anniversary with a bang or two.



We were planning on attending Thursday night, but the weather had other ideas. Thursday night saw 7 inches of rain in about 2 hours in Milwaukee. Everything, including GermanFest, was under water. We ended up going Sunday night, and everything, including the weather, was vunderbar.

The four stages we visited all had German bands playing both German and American songs in both German and English. All were good and perfectly suited for the event. The highlight was Biba die Butzemanner - Die Show Band. Biba is a fairly cheesy cover band that specializes in medleys (of course). Their audience banter was especially entertaining because of their heavy accents and good, but not perfect, command of English. "Sank you, village of Milwaukee. Da next song is about my bersday. No bersday year. Ve hope you enjoy." They were not shy with their appreciation of rounds of beer offered by the audience, and would stop any song immediately, grab the beers and toast the audience. "Sank you grand spender!" Then proceed with Ein Prosit.


I also enjoyed several beers, as I am dedicated to providing my blog audience with the fullest experience possible. Sprecker was the featured alternative to the omnipresent Miller products. The Dopple Bock and the Germanfest Bier were both awesome. Boots were sold out by the time we got there, a pattern that I'm noticing every time we attend a fest on a Sunday.

Unfortunately, we ate before and did not taste anything first hand. However, the food looked amazing. Everything came in heaping portions, and prices were reasonable. The roasted pig was sold out by the time we arrived. From years past, the vendors have huge coal pits with row after row of pigs twirling on spits. The pig's head is the most sought after item and availability is based on lucky timing.

We will have to start avoiding the last day of the fests, as the top items seem to move out quickly.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. All the bands were good and the fireworks were excellent.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. 12 oz Miller products were $4 and 12 0z Sprecker products were $5. The deal of the night was 16 oz Germanfest Bier (Sprecker) at the Mader's on the go bar.
Food is Italian Combo with sweet and hot peppers.
Cost is $10 in advance or $13 at the gate. We got "free" tickets with 12-packs of Pilsner Urquell and Grolsch. Oddly, the beers are Czech and Dutch respectively, not German. It must have something to do with Appeasement.
Bathrooms are Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney World. Kids options included the permanent wet pad and playground, as well as some bouncy houses and the like.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Port Washington Fish Day

The most famous of fish fry fests was bigger and more impressive than anticipated. Port Washington Fish Day is billed as the World's Largest One-Day Fish Fry. The fest offered 9 different food and beer stands, all serving fish and chips, shrimp and chips, and, you guessed it, Miller products. We thought that different stands would offer different types of fish or a culinary spin on the classic, however, each of the 9 stands served with fast food type consistency.

The event spans the lower and upper lake park in downtown Port Washington. Parking downtown was not fun, although we scored a delightful spot in a 15-minute loading zone in front of the local post office. Our comrades in festing this weekend, Callie and Cathy, used the free park and ride remote lot with shuttles to the fest and actually got in faster than us.

We arrived in the early evening, just in time to witness the drunkest of the daytime participants being scraped off the ground and performing interpretive dance routines around the side stages. In defense of our favorite clown, it was very hot, and taking a nap under the shade of a beer sign did look inviting.

The weather was the star of the show. When we arrived it was around 90 degrees, and not cooler by the lake because of the westerly breeze. However, as the clock struck 7pm, the wind changed direction and a wonderful wind off the lake dropped the temperature 10 degrees in a matter of seconds. The entire crowd stopped in their tracks, faced the breeze, then applauded.


We opted to not pay the $3 for PWFD buttons to gain admittance into the main stage area. The group was split on the virtues of seeing The Spin Doctors play "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong", "Two Princes" and other various tracks. We decided instead to set up camp at the Classic Rock stage to watch the band, 1969. Here's when the magic of Fish Day hit us. While setting up the stage, the band shell lost power and the band could not take the stage. Undeterred, the 6 members of 1969 grabbed their acoustic guitars and tambourines and began wandering through the crowd jamming out unplugged. Incredibly, they sang and played off the cuff for 2 hours! Finally, the power was restored and they were able to hit their regular set.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. It would have been pretty plain Jane without the very impressive improv effort of 1969. My hat is off to them. No one would have been the wiser if they would have sat around and waited, instead of working their butts off to entertain the crowd. Fireworks were excellent as well.
Drink is Miller Lite. 10 ounce Miller products were $4
Food is Bologna on White. Fish and Chips were $4.50, Shrimp and Chips were $5.50. The food was good, just boring.
Cost is free! Fish Day buttons, which get you into the main stage are $3.
Bathrooms are a Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Festa Italiana

Festa Italiana is the largest Italian-American festival in America. In order to accurately offer commentary on the event, we made both a day and evening visit.

Our first visit began around lunch on Friday, so we could take advantage of free admission. It was the hottest part of the day. When we arrived it was 90, and it was 94 when we left two hours later. 100% of all mid-day attendees fell squarely into two categories: Italian retirees, who quickly occupied the picnic tables along the lakefront; and families with lots of kids, who quickly occupied every piece of shade around the Midway. Luckily, this sorting out of participants didn't turn into a Jets v. Sharks gang stand-off. Although, there were a few jazz-hands and snap filled moments as we wandered through the silver valley of old-timers.

We spent our day time enjoying the free kids rides which were wonderful for both the little ones (2 and 4) and the big ones (12). The little guys did the bouncy house and the merry-go-round and the big guys took on the Vomitron (or Grav-a-tron, can't remember) and the Sizzler. The highlight for the adults was the very cool giant sand sculpture that was built before our eyes.

Needless to say, hot Italian food, however delicious, was not going to be consumed in 90-degrees with any potential of happiness. However, when we returned for the evening visit, we sampled the delicious rice balls (stuffed with cheese and spinach and covered in marinara - thanks Cathy and Callie) featured at Nessun Dorma. We also had the pleasure of sampling gourmet vinegars and olive oils by Oro di Oliva, and a swath of giardinieras, relishes, olives and eggplant salads by the Pepper Connection.

While the food was consistently excellent, the entertainment required some pretty consistent patience. Every act, from the Opera singers, to the Croners, to the Doo Wop groups, droned on incessantly between every single song. Unfortunately, we did not witness any second coming of the Rat Pack, and the long-winded anecdotes were much more reminiscent of Dell Griffith than Dean Martin.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. All of the musicians were talented, however the acts were hard to get into with all of the boring breaks between every number. However, the kids areas and the free rides in the Midway brought in another reason to attend.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. We opted to enjoy $5 glasses of wine for our evening visit. There were also stands that offered both margaritas ($5 - $9) and martinis ($8). Of course, Miller Products were available for $5.50.
Food is Italian Combo with Sweet and Hot Peppers. Literally. I also purchased a one-gallon jar of Hot Giardinieara from the Pepper Connection for $10! I would have bought a case, if we could have figured out means for reasonable transport back to the car that didn't included displacing William from his stroller.
Cost is $9 in advance, $12 at the door. However, there are many options for discount and free admission including 11:30am-1pm free on Friday, free admission for Mass on Sunday, and a free ticket was included with every 12-pack of Peroni (also highly recommended).
Bathrooms are a Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Bastille Days

Bastille Days is located around Cathedral Square in downtown Milwaukee. The French fest is more like a street fair than the other ethnic fests located on Maier Festival Grounds. It has a much more open and inclusive feeling than the more family reunion-like Scottish and Polish fests.

Bastille Days is free and lasts from Thursday through Sunday. Parking on Milwaukee's Eastside is never easy, and the drive around for this event is most like looking for a spot for a Cubs game. It was a perfect summer evening, so the extra walk was not a problem. Hint for next year: It appears that Lincoln Center of the Arts Middle School has a legal or semi-legal (city-dwellers will understand this term) lot six blocks to the north of the festival.

The late afternoon - early evening entertainment was passable, and the libation options were plentiful. This fest, however, is all about the street performers and people watching. Our festing at Bastille Days was overall excellent, and a nice break from the Summerfest grounds.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a George. We spent most of our time with a James Taylor-esque two-man performance on the east stage. Our tour through saw a medley-riddled cover band, belly dancers and various street performers. A street chalk artist's progress was cool to watch, as it was conveniently located directly between the bar and port-a-potties.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. We took advantage of an excellent Happy Hour offering of $3 Blue Moons. There was a wide variety of wine and cocktails, as well as the very ordinary Miller products for $5.25
Food is Ham and Swiss on Rye. Actually, to be exact Ham and Camembert on a Baguette. Slightly French, but not all that interesting.
Cost is Free!
Bathrooms are a McGillicuddy's. Port-a-potties had some lines by 8pm, must get worse as the Chablis adds up.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.