Scottish Fest

The first Fest is Scottish Fest and Highland Games at Hart Park in Wauwatosa. Scottish Fest circa 2004, was located in Glendale at Old Heidelberg Park, and once was a great one-day fest experience. Last year, the Fest moved to Hart Park, the weather was terrible and the experience was disappointing overall.

Unfortunately, this year's Fest confirms it is not just a weather related problem. The problem is that the organizers of the Fest have absolutely no interest in entertaining the audience. The participants seem to all know each other as a traveling band of Scotophiles. The feeling is like crashing a stranger's family reunion.

The pipe band competition started an hour late, and held the competition on the track, not the field, to the delight of a few dozen people that lucked into choosing the right section of the stands. Why the organizers would choose to hold the event on a field they were not allowed to use, was among the most baffling decisions. Perhaps the best example of the organization was the "athletic competition - on-going". Every event seemed to be on a break whenever we walked by. I was able to check out the caber toss from afar, and timed that six minutes lapsed between throws. Now, watching a big kilt-wearing extra from Braveheart throwing a telephone pole should be very entertaining, however, two seconds of action every six minutes is asking for an unreasonable amount of patience from the spectators.

Unfortunately, William's first Fest experience will be our last attempt at Scottish Fest.

Here are the ratings:

Entertainment: George - the bands and athletic competition are cool, but until someone organizes the attractions into a watchable pace, it's not worth it.

Drink: Guinness - the highlight of the Fest. 20 oz. Guinness, Smithwicks or Harp for $5 is unbeatable.

Food: Bologna on white - 3 or 4 stands of pretty boring stuff, plus haggis.

Cost: Admission $10 per adult, Beer $5 import $4 domestic 20 oz., Food typical Fest fare

Bathrooms: Trinity

Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum: Disney World

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.