Special Edition: Nuggets and Tidbits

While on the Fest Quest this summer, we have managed to visit some other area attractions that are not official fests, but deserve some mention. A man cannot live on festivals alone, you know.

Shedd Aquarium's FantaSea
If you appreciate the spectacle of things astonishingly bad, this is the Tour de Force. I honestly have nothing to compare it to directly, so I will cobble together some related bads in order to try to do it justice. Imagine going to a very long middle school performance, in which you have no friends or relatives; add to it a slide show of animals at a petting zoo; fold in a dollop of 1990s video game sound effects; a splash of nerds dressed up for a Renaissance Fair; and close with the disjointed meaningless ending of Blazing Saddles. I actually want to see it again, because I truly cannot fathom that it can be as bad as I remember.

Kids' Night at the Zoo
This is the opposite of FantaSea. Kids' Night at the Zoo leaves the animals alone, and adds awesome stuff around them. It was an excellent summer night at the zoo with stands for food and beer, bands for both little kids and entertainment for older kids (skate-boarding demo).

The Mundelein Munch
It's always a bit of a trip down memory lane to head to good ole Mundelein. The Munch was a split fest with midway rides and games on one side; and food, drink and bands on the other. Nothing extraordinary good or bad. The only note was the seemingly way overboard, and out of place, Police presence. Perhaps it has been rowdy in the past, but it was strange and a bit frightening to see a larger police showing at the Mundelein Munch than Madison for Halloween.

Summer Sizzle
The Third Ward's small, but very cool jazz-themed street fest. Similar atmosphere to Bastille Days, this very inviting minor festival was a great treat that we accidentally stumbled on mid-summer.

Chill on the Hill
For my Chicagoland readers, imagine Ravinia, for free, less crowded, and one block from your house. Chill on the Hill is the Humboldt Park free summer concert series in the Bay View neighborhood of Milwaukee. The bands were always decent, but the venue and atmosphere were unbeatable. Whether having beer and wine with friends, or chasing the kids around the tents, Chill was a great time, every time.

Farmers' Markets
This is another future quest potential. One of our goals this summer was to eat local or from the garden as much as possible. We have discovered a very clear distinction among markets; some are markets to buy local produce (i.e. West Allis) and some are neighborhood events with the produce as a backdrop (i.e. South Shore).

Secrets to Maier Festival Grounds
I now know a few things about attending festivals at Milwaukee's famed Summerfest grounds. I hesitate to pass on these secrets, however, I take my duty to my avid followers very seriously.

Secret #1 - Free parking is almost always available one or two blocks from the grounds' main entrance. There are 6 blocks of two-hour parking, unlimited after 6PM, without meters on Chicago avenue between Milwaukee Street and the grounds. The closer you get, the better your chances, because 99% of drivers pass open free spots as they are flagged into $10-$15 lots.

Secret #2 - The Root Beer Barrels have unadvertised 32 oz ice waters in souvenir cups for $1. Aquafina bottles cost $3 or $3.50 throughout the rest of the park. For those readers not from MKE, Milwaukee has the best tap water in the nation, and it just may be found in your favorite bottled water...

Secret #3 - If you need to go pee, go to the restrooms just north of the Potowatamie Stage for the cleanest; between the Harley Roadhouse and Miller Lite Oasis for no lines; and always, always avoid the Briggs and Stratton WCs.

Not a secret, but one of my highlights - There is a security guard at Maier Festival Grounds that looks just like Patrick Stewart. I call him "Jean-Luc Pi-Guard". I will attempt to interview him for my finale episode.

If you enjoy Every Fest MKE, consider becoming a follower.

Mexican Fiesta

Mexican Fiesta is the first fest not to claim to the largest or best of anything. To be quite honest, it was not all that interesting. Here's the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Mexican Fiesta.

I will start with the Bad. Everything required tickets. Food required tickets, drinks required tickets, kids' stuff required tickets, and I avoided the bathroom just in case. Tickets, which are of course nonrefundable, cost and are worth 50 cents each. This must be a tribute to the historic strength of the Peso.

The Ugly was the unfortunate attitude of the people working the fest. Everyone seemed grumpy, not excited to be there, and for the first time like they were at work, not volunteering for something they actually like to do.

Also, though the fest offered free admission from noon - 3pm, they did not offer hand stamps for people to return. I understand that they may want to discourage people from taking advantage by walking in and immediately walking out with a hand stamp. However, we spent two and a half hours and about $40 on food and drinks and were considering coming back to check out the evening bands. Not being allowed re-admission without dropping another $30 left a bad taste in my mouth.

The Good was the food, and the evening entertainment looked like it had a lot of potential. We sampled offerings from Milwaukee's own Girabaldi's and Chicago's El Campeon. Girabaldi's was good, but El Campeon's Gordita was awesome. It was similar to thin bisket, the size of a Kopp's burger, stuffed with steak, crumbled Mexican cheese, lettuce and tomatoes.

The drink options were plentiful, however quite expensive. 20 oz. Margaritas were $10 and Pina Coladas (not sure of the size) were $9. One of the upper decks had Mojitos and other mixers, although William forgot his ID, so we couldn't go up. Miller products were also available for 10 tickets.

The entertainment was solid, although the evening bands and weekend wrestling seemed much more interesting than the Friday afternoon performers.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a George with potential towards Paul. We would have liked to come back and check out the evening performances, but dropping a $100 on Mexican Fiesta seemed ridiculous.
Drink is Bud Light. Lots of options, but the prices were out of whack. Perhaps it was the ticket exchange rate.
Food is Jimmy Johns Delivered. Food and prices were solid.
Cost was $15 for adults.
Bathrooms are a mystery. However, I would bet on Trinity, unless they really required a ticket or two depending on usage.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Vegas. This rating is because there was not a lot for kids to do, not for anything risque.

Irish Fest

Billed as "The Premier Irish Experience", Irish Fest 2010 was not a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon. The most striking observation was the size of the crowd. It was almost as busy as a evening at Summerfest, and the entire Maier festival grounds were used. Much like Festa Italiana and Polish Fest, it seemed like there were as many Windy City festers as there were from the Brew City.

The big draw of Irish Fest is the music. During the afternoon, all stages were full and there were a number of smaller tent performances throughout the park. I would guess that at any one time there were at least 12 bands and dance troops getting their groove on.

It's good that the music and dancers were so excellent, because the food was not. There seemed to be a dozen stands all selling various corned beef sandwiches and versions of reuben rolls. Even the venerable German establishment, Mader's, was in on the act. We sampled a sandwich, rolls and curry fries. All pretty vanilla and not seasoned properly. The Irish have done much better crafting some of the world's best beers then establishing an interesting cusine.

Ah, the beer. Only one complaint, Irish Fest makes attenders go through the super annoying extra step of buying beer and wine tickets to be traded in for beer and wine at the vendor stands. Scottish and Irish were the only two fests to not allow the free exchange of money for beer. Perhaps they are used to getting screwed by the hated English.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. Music was great, dancing was great, and there were demonstration of sports including Coed Tug-of-War (not as interesting as it sounds).
Drink would be Guiness, however, the ticket situation drops the rating to a Bud Light.
Food is Bologna on White.
Cost was $15 for adults.
Bathrooms are a Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney. There was a lot of stuff for kids including mini-golf, usual play ground options and Irish Whiskey tasting.

Wisconsin State Fair

To be perfectly honest, I have been dreading attending the Wisconsin State Fair. On the surface the State Fair has many things that I dislike: carnival rides, over-priced crappy food, farm animals, idiots and very hot weather. So, I skirted most of these by building my State Fair experience around seeing Three Dog Night at the Potowatomi Main Stage on Friday night.

We arrived early enough to check out a good portion of the fair grounds. We split a "Giant Corn Dog". It was at least a foot long and probably weighed more than a pound.

The beer situation is worth noting. They have dozens of stands all serving Miller products. I did not see any other choices. What was interesting were the prices. Within 50 yards there were three Miller stands with 16 oz beers for $5.50, 20 oz beers for $7 and 20 oz beers for $5.50. I selected the latter, several times.

Ian has been to many festivals, but never an official rock and roll concert. So, Three Dog Night, with special guests, The Grass Roots, was his first concert experience. Here are some tips that I wished I knew at 7:30pm on Friday:
1) The Potowatomi Main Stage is an outdoor venue. Actually, it is a hunk of the Milwaukee Mile race track grandstands.
2) Rain was eminent for 8:00pm-11:00pm Friday night.

We found our seats, 19th row on the aisle. Good work, Dad. There were knuckleheads in our seats, of course. "This is part of the of concert going experience," I told the boy. As soon as we sat down, it started to rain. " This is part of the outdoor venue concert going experience," I told the boy. The woman in front of us took out an umbrella. This was not an appropriate rain intervention because it obstructed others' view (I cannot remember my exact words), I politely told the woman.

The Grass Roots opened, and were quite good. They started with "Midnight Confessions", and nailed crowd favorites such as "Let's Live for Today", "Sooner or Later" and "Where Were You When I Needed You". The rain steadily increased, so Ian and I headed out for ponchos. I requested hot pink, but they only had biohazard yellow.

We returned with perfect timing for the beginning of Three Dog Night. They opened with "One Man Band", played all of the hits, and some well picked and well played deeper cuts. "One", "Shambala" and "Never Been to Spain" were great. They did a very extended, and a bit cheesy, version of our favorite Three Dog Night song, "Mama Told Me Not to Come". My favorite part was their performance of "Heart of Blues". It is a relatively recently released blues track that is worth checking out at iTunes.

All in all, it was a very cool and memorable time with my son, though probably not a typical Wisconsin State Fair experience.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. Three Dog Night and The Grass Roots were excellent musicians and entertainers.
Drink is Miller Lite. To be fair, I did not see the entire grounds. However, in a state that is home to 70 breweries, with an immense and proud history of brewing large and small, it is a crime that only Miller products were available at our state fair. Perhaps Mr. Doug Healy can give a report from the Great Taste in Madison to balance my disappointment.
Food is Jimmy Johns Delivered. Amazing is the best description. The fair boasts 60 items on a stick, chocolate covered bacon, and this years special, a cheeseburger with Krispy Kreme donuts as the bun.
Cost was $9 for adults. There were lots of coupons and deals, however the 90+ degree weather with dew points in the upper 70s kept us away all week.
Bathrooms are a Das Old German Beer Hall. Most bathrooms were port-a-potties, however, the State Fair earned its Das Old rating by having a strange, giggling bathroom attendant in the Expo Center. The attendant provided no service, no special grooming products, but did, of course, accept tips.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Arab World Fest

I was extremely excited to get back in festival mode and attend Arab World Fest. We have not attended Arab World before and were thrilled to check it out.

Arab World Fest was the smallest fest yet held at Maier Park. The park was only open from the Potowatomi Stage to the Miller Lite Oasis. We first looked through the cultural tent, which featured a cooking demonstration and several educational booths with cultural items on display. They wisely set up the kids area in the middle of the walkway with bouncy houses, big slide and soccer speed test, among other activities. All kids activities required tickets. Camel rides were $5. We enjoyed the musical stylings of Gaida & Levantine Indulgence followed by Al Ramtha Jordanian Folklore Troupe. Both seemed authentic, though I am not an expert.

I wondered how the generally non-drinking culture of the Arab World would mesh with the omni-drinking culture of Wisconsin. Well, there was only one beer vendor selling Miller Lite or MGD, and she was always working although never busy. The Hookah stand, on the other hand, was very popular and probably one third of the tables were enjoying a Hookah or two. Hookahs were $15, and we selected apple over grape and mixed fruit.

The food was awesome. We sampled shawarma, kifta, falafil and humus. All excellent and prices were fair.

The Arab World represents 22 nations across three continents. Arab World Fest was one of the most diverse and inviting fests of the summer. Several times we were engaged in conversation with people from all over the United States and world. Overall, it was a good experience, although after a couple of hours, we had seen it all and were ready to hit the road.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Ringo. Perhaps it is my personal taste or the language barrier, but the acts were not engaging.
Drink is Miller Lite. Miller Lite and MGD were $5 for 16 oz bottles. Hookahs were a must for $15.
Food is Italian Combo with sweet and hot peppers. There were only 5-6 options, but the food and prices were excellent.
Cost was $10 for adults. We used the Entertainment Book coupon for 2 for 1 admission.
Bathrooms are a McGillicuddy's. There wasn't a wait, but there was only one set of bathrooms open on the far side of the grounds.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is FantaSea. The absence of the drunken clowns present at most fests pushed the ratings to a syrupy Shedd-like experience.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.