Port Washington Fish Day

The most famous of fish fry fests was bigger and more impressive than anticipated. Port Washington Fish Day is billed as the World's Largest One-Day Fish Fry. The fest offered 9 different food and beer stands, all serving fish and chips, shrimp and chips, and, you guessed it, Miller products. We thought that different stands would offer different types of fish or a culinary spin on the classic, however, each of the 9 stands served with fast food type consistency.

The event spans the lower and upper lake park in downtown Port Washington. Parking downtown was not fun, although we scored a delightful spot in a 15-minute loading zone in front of the local post office. Our comrades in festing this weekend, Callie and Cathy, used the free park and ride remote lot with shuttles to the fest and actually got in faster than us.

We arrived in the early evening, just in time to witness the drunkest of the daytime participants being scraped off the ground and performing interpretive dance routines around the side stages. In defense of our favorite clown, it was very hot, and taking a nap under the shade of a beer sign did look inviting.

The weather was the star of the show. When we arrived it was around 90 degrees, and not cooler by the lake because of the westerly breeze. However, as the clock struck 7pm, the wind changed direction and a wonderful wind off the lake dropped the temperature 10 degrees in a matter of seconds. The entire crowd stopped in their tracks, faced the breeze, then applauded.


We opted to not pay the $3 for PWFD buttons to gain admittance into the main stage area. The group was split on the virtues of seeing The Spin Doctors play "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong", "Two Princes" and other various tracks. We decided instead to set up camp at the Classic Rock stage to watch the band, 1969. Here's when the magic of Fish Day hit us. While setting up the stage, the band shell lost power and the band could not take the stage. Undeterred, the 6 members of 1969 grabbed their acoustic guitars and tambourines and began wandering through the crowd jamming out unplugged. Incredibly, they sang and played off the cuff for 2 hours! Finally, the power was restored and they were able to hit their regular set.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. It would have been pretty plain Jane without the very impressive improv effort of 1969. My hat is off to them. No one would have been the wiser if they would have sat around and waited, instead of working their butts off to entertain the crowd. Fireworks were excellent as well.
Drink is Miller Lite. 10 ounce Miller products were $4
Food is Bologna on White. Fish and Chips were $4.50, Shrimp and Chips were $5.50. The food was good, just boring.
Cost is free! Fish Day buttons, which get you into the main stage are $3.
Bathrooms are a Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Festa Italiana

Festa Italiana is the largest Italian-American festival in America. In order to accurately offer commentary on the event, we made both a day and evening visit.

Our first visit began around lunch on Friday, so we could take advantage of free admission. It was the hottest part of the day. When we arrived it was 90, and it was 94 when we left two hours later. 100% of all mid-day attendees fell squarely into two categories: Italian retirees, who quickly occupied the picnic tables along the lakefront; and families with lots of kids, who quickly occupied every piece of shade around the Midway. Luckily, this sorting out of participants didn't turn into a Jets v. Sharks gang stand-off. Although, there were a few jazz-hands and snap filled moments as we wandered through the silver valley of old-timers.

We spent our day time enjoying the free kids rides which were wonderful for both the little ones (2 and 4) and the big ones (12). The little guys did the bouncy house and the merry-go-round and the big guys took on the Vomitron (or Grav-a-tron, can't remember) and the Sizzler. The highlight for the adults was the very cool giant sand sculpture that was built before our eyes.

Needless to say, hot Italian food, however delicious, was not going to be consumed in 90-degrees with any potential of happiness. However, when we returned for the evening visit, we sampled the delicious rice balls (stuffed with cheese and spinach and covered in marinara - thanks Cathy and Callie) featured at Nessun Dorma. We also had the pleasure of sampling gourmet vinegars and olive oils by Oro di Oliva, and a swath of giardinieras, relishes, olives and eggplant salads by the Pepper Connection.

While the food was consistently excellent, the entertainment required some pretty consistent patience. Every act, from the Opera singers, to the Croners, to the Doo Wop groups, droned on incessantly between every single song. Unfortunately, we did not witness any second coming of the Rat Pack, and the long-winded anecdotes were much more reminiscent of Dell Griffith than Dean Martin.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. All of the musicians were talented, however the acts were hard to get into with all of the boring breaks between every number. However, the kids areas and the free rides in the Midway brought in another reason to attend.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. We opted to enjoy $5 glasses of wine for our evening visit. There were also stands that offered both margaritas ($5 - $9) and martinis ($8). Of course, Miller Products were available for $5.50.
Food is Italian Combo with Sweet and Hot Peppers. Literally. I also purchased a one-gallon jar of Hot Giardinieara from the Pepper Connection for $10! I would have bought a case, if we could have figured out means for reasonable transport back to the car that didn't included displacing William from his stroller.
Cost is $9 in advance, $12 at the door. However, there are many options for discount and free admission including 11:30am-1pm free on Friday, free admission for Mass on Sunday, and a free ticket was included with every 12-pack of Peroni (also highly recommended).
Bathrooms are a Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Bastille Days

Bastille Days is located around Cathedral Square in downtown Milwaukee. The French fest is more like a street fair than the other ethnic fests located on Maier Festival Grounds. It has a much more open and inclusive feeling than the more family reunion-like Scottish and Polish fests.

Bastille Days is free and lasts from Thursday through Sunday. Parking on Milwaukee's Eastside is never easy, and the drive around for this event is most like looking for a spot for a Cubs game. It was a perfect summer evening, so the extra walk was not a problem. Hint for next year: It appears that Lincoln Center of the Arts Middle School has a legal or semi-legal (city-dwellers will understand this term) lot six blocks to the north of the festival.

The late afternoon - early evening entertainment was passable, and the libation options were plentiful. This fest, however, is all about the street performers and people watching. Our festing at Bastille Days was overall excellent, and a nice break from the Summerfest grounds.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a George. We spent most of our time with a James Taylor-esque two-man performance on the east stage. Our tour through saw a medley-riddled cover band, belly dancers and various street performers. A street chalk artist's progress was cool to watch, as it was conveniently located directly between the bar and port-a-potties.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. We took advantage of an excellent Happy Hour offering of $3 Blue Moons. There was a wide variety of wine and cocktails, as well as the very ordinary Miller products for $5.25
Food is Ham and Swiss on Rye. Actually, to be exact Ham and Camembert on a Baguette. Slightly French, but not all that interesting.
Cost is Free!
Bathrooms are a McGillicuddy's. Port-a-potties had some lines by 8pm, must get worse as the Chablis adds up.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Summerfest

Summerfest is clearly the king of the Milwaukee fests. Much like refusing to place the University of Wisconsin into the rankings of party schools, as professionals ought not be compared to amateurs, the Big Gig is in a class of its own. Including the side stages and lake front walk mini-venues, there are 10-15 acts going on at any given time. Add the many dozens of vendors, performers and first rate people watching; Summerfest is the clear can't miss fest every year.

It occurred to me to consider William's festing experiences after his fifth fest in four weeks. William must believe that every seven days or so, people go to a wonderful place filled with intriguing sounds, smells and walk around for hours. He has attended more fests than people hundreds of times his age and size. He is the true fest quester and could potentially attend hundreds of fests before he can legally have his first fest brew.

We enjoyed several laps through the side stages checking out a song or two from a dozen bands from high school talent show winners to Wang Chung. Wang Chung's synthesizer sound check alone was worth the price of admission, which is a $15 for everyone over 10 years old.

Summerfest is not a cheap event, for our family of four (really three, as William drank no beer) we spent over $100 for an afternoon. We wanted to see Tom Petty at the Marcus, but the extra $300 plus getting a babysitter seemed like a bit too much. However, $15 to see the side stagers such as the Counting Crows, Joan Jett, Yes, 311, Public Enemy, Peter Frampton, the Wailers, B.O.C. and BB King is pretty amazing.

Perhaps, a future quest will be to attend every day of Summerfest.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a clear John. The Big Gig is the largest music festival in the world, and the 3 O'clock side stage is generally a better band than headliners of other festivals.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. Actually we enjoyed Lakefront's IPA, which was $5 a glass, compared to a same-sized $4.50 Miller product.
Food is Italian Combo with sweet and hot peppers. The shear quantity of options is mind-blowing. You can have food and drink including local favorites, ethnic stands and fair fare.
Cost is $15 for general admission for everyone 10 and up. General admission gets you into the dozen side stages, but shows at the Marcus Amphitheater are extra. Marcus show tickets are anywhere from free lawn seats, available for some shows, to hundreds of dollars for good seats for big acts.
Bathrooms are a strange variety of State Street BW3 (near Briggs and Stratton), McGillicuddy's (near Miller Lite Oasis), and Trinity (near the Potawatomi Stage).
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Vegas. While there is a ton for kids to do and see during the day, by 7PM, it is clearly a concert atmosphere with all that goes along with it.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Polish Fest

The third weekend of festivals featured Polish Fest. Billing itself as the "Largest Polish Fest in America", the fest did not disappoint.

Polish Fest was a good mix of traditional and cultural presentations, and contemporary Polish acts. We saw accordion phenom, Staz Vengleski and his all-star band; the local dance troop, Syrena; and Polish rock cover band, Spoiled Rotten. All acts were excellent in their own way, however Syrena was the stand-out featuring music, costumes, dance and traditional Polish culture.

We sampled the food of Busia's Kitchen with variety of Polish offerings. I best item was the stuffed cabbage rolls, though everything was tasty and prices were good.

On to the ratings:

Entertainment was a Paul. There was something for everyone, and all well done.
Drink was a disappointing Bud Light. We were looking forward to Tyskie, a Polish brew, but it was sold out sometime on Saturday.
Food was a stand-out Italian Combo with sweet and hot peppers. The traditional Polish fare and the regular fair offerings were delicious and priced well.
Cost was $12 at the gate, however there were many discount options including 50 Cents Friday and we took advantage of Dads get in free with their kids on Father's Day.
Bathrooms were Trinity.
Adult vs Family spectrum scored a Disney.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

The Doubler

In week two of the Fest Quest, I have decided to double-down and attend the Milwaukee Air and Water Show and Pridefest. Featuring theme songs of "Highway to the Danger Zone" and "It's Raining Men" both weekend events were a celebration of men in uniforms.

The Air and Water show was scheduled for Friday afternoon, as well as daytime performances on Saturday and Sunday. The show is free, unless you choose the reserve seating, and can be seen and heard all over Milwaukee. The center of the show is the newly refurbished Bradford Beach, which is absolutely spectacular and becoming a big draw in MKE. Many of us remember Bradford Beach as an empty, smelly, litter and glass filled piece of lakefront. It now looks like a stretch of waterfront transported from Florida or California with dozens of volleyball nets, work-out equipment, picnic tables, playground equipment, food stands and Milwaukee's prerequisite beer vendors.



The show was canceled on Saturday, leading to huge crowds Sunday. We did the slow drive down Lincoln Memorial, and settled on sneaking onto a eastside parking garage rooftop to see the Blue Angels. With only about a half dozen other viewers, we managed to avoid the crowd and protect the baby's ears, all while getting an excellent vantage point for the performance.


Pridefest is a staple MKE Fest that is early in the season and located on the Henry Maier Festival Grounds. We attended Pridefest during the afternoon and evening on Saturday, missing the headliners, but there was never a break in the entertainment. In a few short hours we saw a GSX, heavy rock band from NY, a leather fashion show, The Windy City Beauties, and listened to the Shondes, a classic rock/feminist punk band. The clear favorite was The Windy City Beauties, which was a high energy drag review, that opened with a full company performance of "It's Raining Men" as homage to the tornado that rolled through the fest a few years ago.

On to the ratings:

Milwaukee Air and Water Show
Entertainment: Paul, The Blue Angels alone are worth the trek
Drink: Bud Light, $6.50 Miller products and a variety of Pina Colada-type stands
Food: Ham and Swiss on Rye, Bradford Beach stands, plus a host of traveling stands
Cost: Free
Bathrooms: McGillicuddy's
Family Friendly Adult Fun Spectrum: Disney World, great for all ages

Pridefest
Entertainment: Paul, extremely entertaining even without seeing the headliners.
Drink: Miller Lite, $6 Miller products
Food: Jimmy Johns Delivered, ever present Summerfest vendors Pridefest-style featuring hot roasted nuts and other fan favorites
Cost: $15 at the gate
Bathrooms: Trinity
Family Friendly Adult Fun Spectrum: Vegas, with a large and active kids area during the day, and a guess that Stanley Kubrick would be present by closing time.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Scottish Fest

The first Fest is Scottish Fest and Highland Games at Hart Park in Wauwatosa. Scottish Fest circa 2004, was located in Glendale at Old Heidelberg Park, and once was a great one-day fest experience. Last year, the Fest moved to Hart Park, the weather was terrible and the experience was disappointing overall.

Unfortunately, this year's Fest confirms it is not just a weather related problem. The problem is that the organizers of the Fest have absolutely no interest in entertaining the audience. The participants seem to all know each other as a traveling band of Scotophiles. The feeling is like crashing a stranger's family reunion.

The pipe band competition started an hour late, and held the competition on the track, not the field, to the delight of a few dozen people that lucked into choosing the right section of the stands. Why the organizers would choose to hold the event on a field they were not allowed to use, was among the most baffling decisions. Perhaps the best example of the organization was the "athletic competition - on-going". Every event seemed to be on a break whenever we walked by. I was able to check out the caber toss from afar, and timed that six minutes lapsed between throws. Now, watching a big kilt-wearing extra from Braveheart throwing a telephone pole should be very entertaining, however, two seconds of action every six minutes is asking for an unreasonable amount of patience from the spectators.

Unfortunately, William's first Fest experience will be our last attempt at Scottish Fest.

Here are the ratings:

Entertainment: George - the bands and athletic competition are cool, but until someone organizes the attractions into a watchable pace, it's not worth it.

Drink: Guinness - the highlight of the Fest. 20 oz. Guinness, Smithwicks or Harp for $5 is unbeatable.

Food: Bologna on white - 3 or 4 stands of pretty boring stuff, plus haggis.

Cost: Admission $10 per adult, Beer $5 import $4 domestic 20 oz., Food typical Fest fare

Bathrooms: Trinity

Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum: Disney World

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.