Indian Summer

The final fest at Maier Festival Park was Indian Summer. This celebration of Native American history, culture and community was an excellent ending to the festival season.

We arrived around 2:30pm on Friday, and were delightfully surprised with FREE admission. Donations of school supplies were recommended. This free offer and request for supplies must have been hidden somewhere on the website, because I did not know about either.

The festival was fairly large, occupying the whole park up to the Marcus Amphitheater. There were two distinct and separated sections: The Pow Wow area with no alcohol allowed, and the Miller Lite - Harley area with food, bands, entertainment and adult beverages.

I opted for $5 Margaritas and Annie enjoyed 12 oz. Miller Lite taps for $4. We sampled food from both Whitefeathers and Littlewinds. All menus were similar, offering frybread with various accoutrements. We had a Whitefeathers Indian Taco and a Littlewinds Buffalo Burger on Frybread and Wild Rice Casserole. Everything was good, and the Littlewinds frybread was particularly awesome.

The bands were decent, though nothing exceptional during the late Friday afternoon. We were roped in (especially the 12-year old) with the East Meets West culture and history demonstration. The hour long show allowed a Cree and Comanche to compare history, culture, weapons and technology typical of Eastern and Western tribes. The jokes were corny, but the gentlemen were both entertaining and enlightening.

All in all an excellent and very professionally organized festival. It's one we will not miss in years to come.

Look for the final Every Fest MKE blog this Friday!

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. Besides the bands and cultural demos, there was also skateboarding and a variety of other ways to while away the weekend. The fest did a great job of mixing both entertainment and education.
Drink is Bud Light. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Food is Jimmy Johns Delivered. Food was really good, though a bit pricey. Also, all food vendors required tickets making a higher rating impossible.
Cost was $12 for adults.
Bathrooms are a Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney. The demonstrations were particularly well done and great for kids.

Special Edition: Nuggets and Tidbits

While on the Fest Quest this summer, we have managed to visit some other area attractions that are not official fests, but deserve some mention. A man cannot live on festivals alone, you know.

Shedd Aquarium's FantaSea
If you appreciate the spectacle of things astonishingly bad, this is the Tour de Force. I honestly have nothing to compare it to directly, so I will cobble together some related bads in order to try to do it justice. Imagine going to a very long middle school performance, in which you have no friends or relatives; add to it a slide show of animals at a petting zoo; fold in a dollop of 1990s video game sound effects; a splash of nerds dressed up for a Renaissance Fair; and close with the disjointed meaningless ending of Blazing Saddles. I actually want to see it again, because I truly cannot fathom that it can be as bad as I remember.

Kids' Night at the Zoo
This is the opposite of FantaSea. Kids' Night at the Zoo leaves the animals alone, and adds awesome stuff around them. It was an excellent summer night at the zoo with stands for food and beer, bands for both little kids and entertainment for older kids (skate-boarding demo).

The Mundelein Munch
It's always a bit of a trip down memory lane to head to good ole Mundelein. The Munch was a split fest with midway rides and games on one side; and food, drink and bands on the other. Nothing extraordinary good or bad. The only note was the seemingly way overboard, and out of place, Police presence. Perhaps it has been rowdy in the past, but it was strange and a bit frightening to see a larger police showing at the Mundelein Munch than Madison for Halloween.

Summer Sizzle
The Third Ward's small, but very cool jazz-themed street fest. Similar atmosphere to Bastille Days, this very inviting minor festival was a great treat that we accidentally stumbled on mid-summer.

Chill on the Hill
For my Chicagoland readers, imagine Ravinia, for free, less crowded, and one block from your house. Chill on the Hill is the Humboldt Park free summer concert series in the Bay View neighborhood of Milwaukee. The bands were always decent, but the venue and atmosphere were unbeatable. Whether having beer and wine with friends, or chasing the kids around the tents, Chill was a great time, every time.

Farmers' Markets
This is another future quest potential. One of our goals this summer was to eat local or from the garden as much as possible. We have discovered a very clear distinction among markets; some are markets to buy local produce (i.e. West Allis) and some are neighborhood events with the produce as a backdrop (i.e. South Shore).

Secrets to Maier Festival Grounds
I now know a few things about attending festivals at Milwaukee's famed Summerfest grounds. I hesitate to pass on these secrets, however, I take my duty to my avid followers very seriously.

Secret #1 - Free parking is almost always available one or two blocks from the grounds' main entrance. There are 6 blocks of two-hour parking, unlimited after 6PM, without meters on Chicago avenue between Milwaukee Street and the grounds. The closer you get, the better your chances, because 99% of drivers pass open free spots as they are flagged into $10-$15 lots.

Secret #2 - The Root Beer Barrels have unadvertised 32 oz ice waters in souvenir cups for $1. Aquafina bottles cost $3 or $3.50 throughout the rest of the park. For those readers not from MKE, Milwaukee has the best tap water in the nation, and it just may be found in your favorite bottled water...

Secret #3 - If you need to go pee, go to the restrooms just north of the Potowatamie Stage for the cleanest; between the Harley Roadhouse and Miller Lite Oasis for no lines; and always, always avoid the Briggs and Stratton WCs.

Not a secret, but one of my highlights - There is a security guard at Maier Festival Grounds that looks just like Patrick Stewart. I call him "Jean-Luc Pi-Guard". I will attempt to interview him for my finale episode.

If you enjoy Every Fest MKE, consider becoming a follower.

Mexican Fiesta

Mexican Fiesta is the first fest not to claim to the largest or best of anything. To be quite honest, it was not all that interesting. Here's the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Mexican Fiesta.

I will start with the Bad. Everything required tickets. Food required tickets, drinks required tickets, kids' stuff required tickets, and I avoided the bathroom just in case. Tickets, which are of course nonrefundable, cost and are worth 50 cents each. This must be a tribute to the historic strength of the Peso.

The Ugly was the unfortunate attitude of the people working the fest. Everyone seemed grumpy, not excited to be there, and for the first time like they were at work, not volunteering for something they actually like to do.

Also, though the fest offered free admission from noon - 3pm, they did not offer hand stamps for people to return. I understand that they may want to discourage people from taking advantage by walking in and immediately walking out with a hand stamp. However, we spent two and a half hours and about $40 on food and drinks and were considering coming back to check out the evening bands. Not being allowed re-admission without dropping another $30 left a bad taste in my mouth.

The Good was the food, and the evening entertainment looked like it had a lot of potential. We sampled offerings from Milwaukee's own Girabaldi's and Chicago's El Campeon. Girabaldi's was good, but El Campeon's Gordita was awesome. It was similar to thin bisket, the size of a Kopp's burger, stuffed with steak, crumbled Mexican cheese, lettuce and tomatoes.

The drink options were plentiful, however quite expensive. 20 oz. Margaritas were $10 and Pina Coladas (not sure of the size) were $9. One of the upper decks had Mojitos and other mixers, although William forgot his ID, so we couldn't go up. Miller products were also available for 10 tickets.

The entertainment was solid, although the evening bands and weekend wrestling seemed much more interesting than the Friday afternoon performers.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a George with potential towards Paul. We would have liked to come back and check out the evening performances, but dropping a $100 on Mexican Fiesta seemed ridiculous.
Drink is Bud Light. Lots of options, but the prices were out of whack. Perhaps it was the ticket exchange rate.
Food is Jimmy Johns Delivered. Food and prices were solid.
Cost was $15 for adults.
Bathrooms are a mystery. However, I would bet on Trinity, unless they really required a ticket or two depending on usage.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Vegas. This rating is because there was not a lot for kids to do, not for anything risque.

Irish Fest

Billed as "The Premier Irish Experience", Irish Fest 2010 was not a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon. The most striking observation was the size of the crowd. It was almost as busy as a evening at Summerfest, and the entire Maier festival grounds were used. Much like Festa Italiana and Polish Fest, it seemed like there were as many Windy City festers as there were from the Brew City.

The big draw of Irish Fest is the music. During the afternoon, all stages were full and there were a number of smaller tent performances throughout the park. I would guess that at any one time there were at least 12 bands and dance troops getting their groove on.

It's good that the music and dancers were so excellent, because the food was not. There seemed to be a dozen stands all selling various corned beef sandwiches and versions of reuben rolls. Even the venerable German establishment, Mader's, was in on the act. We sampled a sandwich, rolls and curry fries. All pretty vanilla and not seasoned properly. The Irish have done much better crafting some of the world's best beers then establishing an interesting cusine.

Ah, the beer. Only one complaint, Irish Fest makes attenders go through the super annoying extra step of buying beer and wine tickets to be traded in for beer and wine at the vendor stands. Scottish and Irish were the only two fests to not allow the free exchange of money for beer. Perhaps they are used to getting screwed by the hated English.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. Music was great, dancing was great, and there were demonstration of sports including Coed Tug-of-War (not as interesting as it sounds).
Drink would be Guiness, however, the ticket situation drops the rating to a Bud Light.
Food is Bologna on White.
Cost was $15 for adults.
Bathrooms are a Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney. There was a lot of stuff for kids including mini-golf, usual play ground options and Irish Whiskey tasting.

Wisconsin State Fair

To be perfectly honest, I have been dreading attending the Wisconsin State Fair. On the surface the State Fair has many things that I dislike: carnival rides, over-priced crappy food, farm animals, idiots and very hot weather. So, I skirted most of these by building my State Fair experience around seeing Three Dog Night at the Potowatomi Main Stage on Friday night.

We arrived early enough to check out a good portion of the fair grounds. We split a "Giant Corn Dog". It was at least a foot long and probably weighed more than a pound.

The beer situation is worth noting. They have dozens of stands all serving Miller products. I did not see any other choices. What was interesting were the prices. Within 50 yards there were three Miller stands with 16 oz beers for $5.50, 20 oz beers for $7 and 20 oz beers for $5.50. I selected the latter, several times.

Ian has been to many festivals, but never an official rock and roll concert. So, Three Dog Night, with special guests, The Grass Roots, was his first concert experience. Here are some tips that I wished I knew at 7:30pm on Friday:
1) The Potowatomi Main Stage is an outdoor venue. Actually, it is a hunk of the Milwaukee Mile race track grandstands.
2) Rain was eminent for 8:00pm-11:00pm Friday night.

We found our seats, 19th row on the aisle. Good work, Dad. There were knuckleheads in our seats, of course. "This is part of the of concert going experience," I told the boy. As soon as we sat down, it started to rain. " This is part of the outdoor venue concert going experience," I told the boy. The woman in front of us took out an umbrella. This was not an appropriate rain intervention because it obstructed others' view (I cannot remember my exact words), I politely told the woman.

The Grass Roots opened, and were quite good. They started with "Midnight Confessions", and nailed crowd favorites such as "Let's Live for Today", "Sooner or Later" and "Where Were You When I Needed You". The rain steadily increased, so Ian and I headed out for ponchos. I requested hot pink, but they only had biohazard yellow.

We returned with perfect timing for the beginning of Three Dog Night. They opened with "One Man Band", played all of the hits, and some well picked and well played deeper cuts. "One", "Shambala" and "Never Been to Spain" were great. They did a very extended, and a bit cheesy, version of our favorite Three Dog Night song, "Mama Told Me Not to Come". My favorite part was their performance of "Heart of Blues". It is a relatively recently released blues track that is worth checking out at iTunes.

All in all, it was a very cool and memorable time with my son, though probably not a typical Wisconsin State Fair experience.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. Three Dog Night and The Grass Roots were excellent musicians and entertainers.
Drink is Miller Lite. To be fair, I did not see the entire grounds. However, in a state that is home to 70 breweries, with an immense and proud history of brewing large and small, it is a crime that only Miller products were available at our state fair. Perhaps Mr. Doug Healy can give a report from the Great Taste in Madison to balance my disappointment.
Food is Jimmy Johns Delivered. Amazing is the best description. The fair boasts 60 items on a stick, chocolate covered bacon, and this years special, a cheeseburger with Krispy Kreme donuts as the bun.
Cost was $9 for adults. There were lots of coupons and deals, however the 90+ degree weather with dew points in the upper 70s kept us away all week.
Bathrooms are a Das Old German Beer Hall. Most bathrooms were port-a-potties, however, the State Fair earned its Das Old rating by having a strange, giggling bathroom attendant in the Expo Center. The attendant provided no service, no special grooming products, but did, of course, accept tips.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Arab World Fest

I was extremely excited to get back in festival mode and attend Arab World Fest. We have not attended Arab World before and were thrilled to check it out.

Arab World Fest was the smallest fest yet held at Maier Park. The park was only open from the Potowatomi Stage to the Miller Lite Oasis. We first looked through the cultural tent, which featured a cooking demonstration and several educational booths with cultural items on display. They wisely set up the kids area in the middle of the walkway with bouncy houses, big slide and soccer speed test, among other activities. All kids activities required tickets. Camel rides were $5. We enjoyed the musical stylings of Gaida & Levantine Indulgence followed by Al Ramtha Jordanian Folklore Troupe. Both seemed authentic, though I am not an expert.

I wondered how the generally non-drinking culture of the Arab World would mesh with the omni-drinking culture of Wisconsin. Well, there was only one beer vendor selling Miller Lite or MGD, and she was always working although never busy. The Hookah stand, on the other hand, was very popular and probably one third of the tables were enjoying a Hookah or two. Hookahs were $15, and we selected apple over grape and mixed fruit.

The food was awesome. We sampled shawarma, kifta, falafil and humus. All excellent and prices were fair.

The Arab World represents 22 nations across three continents. Arab World Fest was one of the most diverse and inviting fests of the summer. Several times we were engaged in conversation with people from all over the United States and world. Overall, it was a good experience, although after a couple of hours, we had seen it all and were ready to hit the road.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Ringo. Perhaps it is my personal taste or the language barrier, but the acts were not engaging.
Drink is Miller Lite. Miller Lite and MGD were $5 for 16 oz bottles. Hookahs were a must for $15.
Food is Italian Combo with sweet and hot peppers. There were only 5-6 options, but the food and prices were excellent.
Cost was $10 for adults. We used the Entertainment Book coupon for 2 for 1 admission.
Bathrooms are a McGillicuddy's. There wasn't a wait, but there was only one set of bathrooms open on the far side of the grounds.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is FantaSea. The absence of the drunken clowns present at most fests pushed the ratings to a syrupy Shedd-like experience.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

GermanFest

Milwaukee's original Haus party was an all around excellent time. GermanFest celebrated its 30th Anniversary with a bang or two.



We were planning on attending Thursday night, but the weather had other ideas. Thursday night saw 7 inches of rain in about 2 hours in Milwaukee. Everything, including GermanFest, was under water. We ended up going Sunday night, and everything, including the weather, was vunderbar.

The four stages we visited all had German bands playing both German and American songs in both German and English. All were good and perfectly suited for the event. The highlight was Biba die Butzemanner - Die Show Band. Biba is a fairly cheesy cover band that specializes in medleys (of course). Their audience banter was especially entertaining because of their heavy accents and good, but not perfect, command of English. "Sank you, village of Milwaukee. Da next song is about my bersday. No bersday year. Ve hope you enjoy." They were not shy with their appreciation of rounds of beer offered by the audience, and would stop any song immediately, grab the beers and toast the audience. "Sank you grand spender!" Then proceed with Ein Prosit.


I also enjoyed several beers, as I am dedicated to providing my blog audience with the fullest experience possible. Sprecker was the featured alternative to the omnipresent Miller products. The Dopple Bock and the Germanfest Bier were both awesome. Boots were sold out by the time we got there, a pattern that I'm noticing every time we attend a fest on a Sunday.

Unfortunately, we ate before and did not taste anything first hand. However, the food looked amazing. Everything came in heaping portions, and prices were reasonable. The roasted pig was sold out by the time we arrived. From years past, the vendors have huge coal pits with row after row of pigs twirling on spits. The pig's head is the most sought after item and availability is based on lucky timing.

We will have to start avoiding the last day of the fests, as the top items seem to move out quickly.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. All the bands were good and the fireworks were excellent.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. 12 oz Miller products were $4 and 12 0z Sprecker products were $5. The deal of the night was 16 oz Germanfest Bier (Sprecker) at the Mader's on the go bar.
Food is Italian Combo with sweet and hot peppers.
Cost is $10 in advance or $13 at the gate. We got "free" tickets with 12-packs of Pilsner Urquell and Grolsch. Oddly, the beers are Czech and Dutch respectively, not German. It must have something to do with Appeasement.
Bathrooms are Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney World. Kids options included the permanent wet pad and playground, as well as some bouncy houses and the like.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Port Washington Fish Day

The most famous of fish fry fests was bigger and more impressive than anticipated. Port Washington Fish Day is billed as the World's Largest One-Day Fish Fry. The fest offered 9 different food and beer stands, all serving fish and chips, shrimp and chips, and, you guessed it, Miller products. We thought that different stands would offer different types of fish or a culinary spin on the classic, however, each of the 9 stands served with fast food type consistency.

The event spans the lower and upper lake park in downtown Port Washington. Parking downtown was not fun, although we scored a delightful spot in a 15-minute loading zone in front of the local post office. Our comrades in festing this weekend, Callie and Cathy, used the free park and ride remote lot with shuttles to the fest and actually got in faster than us.

We arrived in the early evening, just in time to witness the drunkest of the daytime participants being scraped off the ground and performing interpretive dance routines around the side stages. In defense of our favorite clown, it was very hot, and taking a nap under the shade of a beer sign did look inviting.

The weather was the star of the show. When we arrived it was around 90 degrees, and not cooler by the lake because of the westerly breeze. However, as the clock struck 7pm, the wind changed direction and a wonderful wind off the lake dropped the temperature 10 degrees in a matter of seconds. The entire crowd stopped in their tracks, faced the breeze, then applauded.


We opted to not pay the $3 for PWFD buttons to gain admittance into the main stage area. The group was split on the virtues of seeing The Spin Doctors play "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong", "Two Princes" and other various tracks. We decided instead to set up camp at the Classic Rock stage to watch the band, 1969. Here's when the magic of Fish Day hit us. While setting up the stage, the band shell lost power and the band could not take the stage. Undeterred, the 6 members of 1969 grabbed their acoustic guitars and tambourines and began wandering through the crowd jamming out unplugged. Incredibly, they sang and played off the cuff for 2 hours! Finally, the power was restored and they were able to hit their regular set.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. It would have been pretty plain Jane without the very impressive improv effort of 1969. My hat is off to them. No one would have been the wiser if they would have sat around and waited, instead of working their butts off to entertain the crowd. Fireworks were excellent as well.
Drink is Miller Lite. 10 ounce Miller products were $4
Food is Bologna on White. Fish and Chips were $4.50, Shrimp and Chips were $5.50. The food was good, just boring.
Cost is free! Fish Day buttons, which get you into the main stage are $3.
Bathrooms are a Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Festa Italiana

Festa Italiana is the largest Italian-American festival in America. In order to accurately offer commentary on the event, we made both a day and evening visit.

Our first visit began around lunch on Friday, so we could take advantage of free admission. It was the hottest part of the day. When we arrived it was 90, and it was 94 when we left two hours later. 100% of all mid-day attendees fell squarely into two categories: Italian retirees, who quickly occupied the picnic tables along the lakefront; and families with lots of kids, who quickly occupied every piece of shade around the Midway. Luckily, this sorting out of participants didn't turn into a Jets v. Sharks gang stand-off. Although, there were a few jazz-hands and snap filled moments as we wandered through the silver valley of old-timers.

We spent our day time enjoying the free kids rides which were wonderful for both the little ones (2 and 4) and the big ones (12). The little guys did the bouncy house and the merry-go-round and the big guys took on the Vomitron (or Grav-a-tron, can't remember) and the Sizzler. The highlight for the adults was the very cool giant sand sculpture that was built before our eyes.

Needless to say, hot Italian food, however delicious, was not going to be consumed in 90-degrees with any potential of happiness. However, when we returned for the evening visit, we sampled the delicious rice balls (stuffed with cheese and spinach and covered in marinara - thanks Cathy and Callie) featured at Nessun Dorma. We also had the pleasure of sampling gourmet vinegars and olive oils by Oro di Oliva, and a swath of giardinieras, relishes, olives and eggplant salads by the Pepper Connection.

While the food was consistently excellent, the entertainment required some pretty consistent patience. Every act, from the Opera singers, to the Croners, to the Doo Wop groups, droned on incessantly between every single song. Unfortunately, we did not witness any second coming of the Rat Pack, and the long-winded anecdotes were much more reminiscent of Dell Griffith than Dean Martin.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a Paul. All of the musicians were talented, however the acts were hard to get into with all of the boring breaks between every number. However, the kids areas and the free rides in the Midway brought in another reason to attend.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. We opted to enjoy $5 glasses of wine for our evening visit. There were also stands that offered both margaritas ($5 - $9) and martinis ($8). Of course, Miller Products were available for $5.50.
Food is Italian Combo with Sweet and Hot Peppers. Literally. I also purchased a one-gallon jar of Hot Giardinieara from the Pepper Connection for $10! I would have bought a case, if we could have figured out means for reasonable transport back to the car that didn't included displacing William from his stroller.
Cost is $9 in advance, $12 at the door. However, there are many options for discount and free admission including 11:30am-1pm free on Friday, free admission for Mass on Sunday, and a free ticket was included with every 12-pack of Peroni (also highly recommended).
Bathrooms are a Trinity.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Bastille Days

Bastille Days is located around Cathedral Square in downtown Milwaukee. The French fest is more like a street fair than the other ethnic fests located on Maier Festival Grounds. It has a much more open and inclusive feeling than the more family reunion-like Scottish and Polish fests.

Bastille Days is free and lasts from Thursday through Sunday. Parking on Milwaukee's Eastside is never easy, and the drive around for this event is most like looking for a spot for a Cubs game. It was a perfect summer evening, so the extra walk was not a problem. Hint for next year: It appears that Lincoln Center of the Arts Middle School has a legal or semi-legal (city-dwellers will understand this term) lot six blocks to the north of the festival.

The late afternoon - early evening entertainment was passable, and the libation options were plentiful. This fest, however, is all about the street performers and people watching. Our festing at Bastille Days was overall excellent, and a nice break from the Summerfest grounds.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a George. We spent most of our time with a James Taylor-esque two-man performance on the east stage. Our tour through saw a medley-riddled cover band, belly dancers and various street performers. A street chalk artist's progress was cool to watch, as it was conveniently located directly between the bar and port-a-potties.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. We took advantage of an excellent Happy Hour offering of $3 Blue Moons. There was a wide variety of wine and cocktails, as well as the very ordinary Miller products for $5.25
Food is Ham and Swiss on Rye. Actually, to be exact Ham and Camembert on a Baguette. Slightly French, but not all that interesting.
Cost is Free!
Bathrooms are a McGillicuddy's. Port-a-potties had some lines by 8pm, must get worse as the Chablis adds up.
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Disney.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Summerfest

Summerfest is clearly the king of the Milwaukee fests. Much like refusing to place the University of Wisconsin into the rankings of party schools, as professionals ought not be compared to amateurs, the Big Gig is in a class of its own. Including the side stages and lake front walk mini-venues, there are 10-15 acts going on at any given time. Add the many dozens of vendors, performers and first rate people watching; Summerfest is the clear can't miss fest every year.

It occurred to me to consider William's festing experiences after his fifth fest in four weeks. William must believe that every seven days or so, people go to a wonderful place filled with intriguing sounds, smells and walk around for hours. He has attended more fests than people hundreds of times his age and size. He is the true fest quester and could potentially attend hundreds of fests before he can legally have his first fest brew.

We enjoyed several laps through the side stages checking out a song or two from a dozen bands from high school talent show winners to Wang Chung. Wang Chung's synthesizer sound check alone was worth the price of admission, which is a $15 for everyone over 10 years old.

Summerfest is not a cheap event, for our family of four (really three, as William drank no beer) we spent over $100 for an afternoon. We wanted to see Tom Petty at the Marcus, but the extra $300 plus getting a babysitter seemed like a bit too much. However, $15 to see the side stagers such as the Counting Crows, Joan Jett, Yes, 311, Public Enemy, Peter Frampton, the Wailers, B.O.C. and BB King is pretty amazing.

Perhaps, a future quest will be to attend every day of Summerfest.

Ratings:

Entertainment is a clear John. The Big Gig is the largest music festival in the world, and the 3 O'clock side stage is generally a better band than headliners of other festivals.
Drink is Lakefront Local Acre. Actually we enjoyed Lakefront's IPA, which was $5 a glass, compared to a same-sized $4.50 Miller product.
Food is Italian Combo with sweet and hot peppers. The shear quantity of options is mind-blowing. You can have food and drink including local favorites, ethnic stands and fair fare.
Cost is $15 for general admission for everyone 10 and up. General admission gets you into the dozen side stages, but shows at the Marcus Amphitheater are extra. Marcus show tickets are anywhere from free lawn seats, available for some shows, to hundreds of dollars for good seats for big acts.
Bathrooms are a strange variety of State Street BW3 (near Briggs and Stratton), McGillicuddy's (near Miller Lite Oasis), and Trinity (near the Potawatomi Stage).
Adult vs. Family Fun spectrum is Vegas. While there is a ton for kids to do and see during the day, by 7PM, it is clearly a concert atmosphere with all that goes along with it.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Polish Fest

The third weekend of festivals featured Polish Fest. Billing itself as the "Largest Polish Fest in America", the fest did not disappoint.

Polish Fest was a good mix of traditional and cultural presentations, and contemporary Polish acts. We saw accordion phenom, Staz Vengleski and his all-star band; the local dance troop, Syrena; and Polish rock cover band, Spoiled Rotten. All acts were excellent in their own way, however Syrena was the stand-out featuring music, costumes, dance and traditional Polish culture.

We sampled the food of Busia's Kitchen with variety of Polish offerings. I best item was the stuffed cabbage rolls, though everything was tasty and prices were good.

On to the ratings:

Entertainment was a Paul. There was something for everyone, and all well done.
Drink was a disappointing Bud Light. We were looking forward to Tyskie, a Polish brew, but it was sold out sometime on Saturday.
Food was a stand-out Italian Combo with sweet and hot peppers. The traditional Polish fare and the regular fair offerings were delicious and priced well.
Cost was $12 at the gate, however there were many discount options including 50 Cents Friday and we took advantage of Dads get in free with their kids on Father's Day.
Bathrooms were Trinity.
Adult vs Family spectrum scored a Disney.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

The Doubler

In week two of the Fest Quest, I have decided to double-down and attend the Milwaukee Air and Water Show and Pridefest. Featuring theme songs of "Highway to the Danger Zone" and "It's Raining Men" both weekend events were a celebration of men in uniforms.

The Air and Water show was scheduled for Friday afternoon, as well as daytime performances on Saturday and Sunday. The show is free, unless you choose the reserve seating, and can be seen and heard all over Milwaukee. The center of the show is the newly refurbished Bradford Beach, which is absolutely spectacular and becoming a big draw in MKE. Many of us remember Bradford Beach as an empty, smelly, litter and glass filled piece of lakefront. It now looks like a stretch of waterfront transported from Florida or California with dozens of volleyball nets, work-out equipment, picnic tables, playground equipment, food stands and Milwaukee's prerequisite beer vendors.



The show was canceled on Saturday, leading to huge crowds Sunday. We did the slow drive down Lincoln Memorial, and settled on sneaking onto a eastside parking garage rooftop to see the Blue Angels. With only about a half dozen other viewers, we managed to avoid the crowd and protect the baby's ears, all while getting an excellent vantage point for the performance.


Pridefest is a staple MKE Fest that is early in the season and located on the Henry Maier Festival Grounds. We attended Pridefest during the afternoon and evening on Saturday, missing the headliners, but there was never a break in the entertainment. In a few short hours we saw a GSX, heavy rock band from NY, a leather fashion show, The Windy City Beauties, and listened to the Shondes, a classic rock/feminist punk band. The clear favorite was The Windy City Beauties, which was a high energy drag review, that opened with a full company performance of "It's Raining Men" as homage to the tornado that rolled through the fest a few years ago.

On to the ratings:

Milwaukee Air and Water Show
Entertainment: Paul, The Blue Angels alone are worth the trek
Drink: Bud Light, $6.50 Miller products and a variety of Pina Colada-type stands
Food: Ham and Swiss on Rye, Bradford Beach stands, plus a host of traveling stands
Cost: Free
Bathrooms: McGillicuddy's
Family Friendly Adult Fun Spectrum: Disney World, great for all ages

Pridefest
Entertainment: Paul, extremely entertaining even without seeing the headliners.
Drink: Miller Lite, $6 Miller products
Food: Jimmy Johns Delivered, ever present Summerfest vendors Pridefest-style featuring hot roasted nuts and other fan favorites
Cost: $15 at the gate
Bathrooms: Trinity
Family Friendly Adult Fun Spectrum: Vegas, with a large and active kids area during the day, and a guess that Stanley Kubrick would be present by closing time.

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Scottish Fest

The first Fest is Scottish Fest and Highland Games at Hart Park in Wauwatosa. Scottish Fest circa 2004, was located in Glendale at Old Heidelberg Park, and once was a great one-day fest experience. Last year, the Fest moved to Hart Park, the weather was terrible and the experience was disappointing overall.

Unfortunately, this year's Fest confirms it is not just a weather related problem. The problem is that the organizers of the Fest have absolutely no interest in entertaining the audience. The participants seem to all know each other as a traveling band of Scotophiles. The feeling is like crashing a stranger's family reunion.

The pipe band competition started an hour late, and held the competition on the track, not the field, to the delight of a few dozen people that lucked into choosing the right section of the stands. Why the organizers would choose to hold the event on a field they were not allowed to use, was among the most baffling decisions. Perhaps the best example of the organization was the "athletic competition - on-going". Every event seemed to be on a break whenever we walked by. I was able to check out the caber toss from afar, and timed that six minutes lapsed between throws. Now, watching a big kilt-wearing extra from Braveheart throwing a telephone pole should be very entertaining, however, two seconds of action every six minutes is asking for an unreasonable amount of patience from the spectators.

Unfortunately, William's first Fest experience will be our last attempt at Scottish Fest.

Here are the ratings:

Entertainment: George - the bands and athletic competition are cool, but until someone organizes the attractions into a watchable pace, it's not worth it.

Drink: Guinness - the highlight of the Fest. 20 oz. Guinness, Smithwicks or Harp for $5 is unbeatable.

Food: Bologna on white - 3 or 4 stands of pretty boring stuff, plus haggis.

Cost: Admission $10 per adult, Beer $5 import $4 domestic 20 oz., Food typical Fest fare

Bathrooms: Trinity

Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum: Disney World

Ratings

Entertainment is on the Beatles Scale from Ringo to John. Ringo is fun, however not terribly engaging and cannot stand alone as single act. George shows glimpses of brilliance, however is relegated as a supporting feature. Paul is excellent, great for singing along and definitely worth the price of admission. John is the greatest ever.

Drink is based on the Beer Scale from Miller Lite to Guinness. Miller Lite is okay in a pinch, but almost anything else would be better. Bud Light is good, ordinary and passable. Lakefront Local Acre is excellent, intriguing, and an excellent surprise. Guinness is classic greatness that stands the test of time.

Food is based on the Sandwich Scale from Bologna on white bread, boring; Ham and Swiss on rye, ordinary; Jimmy Johns delivered, amazing; to Italian combo with sweet and hot peppers, stuff of legend.

Cost will report the costs of admission, beer, and access to discounts.

Bathrooms will be on the Public Bathroom Comparison Scale from State Street BW3, strangely disgusting; McGillicuddy’s, long lines; Trinity, clean and available; and finally, Das Old German Beer Hall, strangely entertaining.

The Family Friendly vs. Adult Fun Spectrum will go from Fantasea Dolphin Show at the Shedd Aquarium, to Disney World, to Vegas, to Stanley Kubrick Movie.

Every Fest MKE

For several years it has been my goal to attend every festival in Milwaukee. 2010 is the year. The best thing about living in Milwaukee is the summer festival culture, which is rooted in our German heritage, and a needed response to the long cold winters.

The plan:

Attend every major festival in Milwaukee and report on the experience. I will create a rating system for several key Fest elements - entertainment, drink, food, cost, bathrooms, and a family friendly vs. adult fun spectrum.

To make this voyage affordable, we will take advantage of all of the deals, coupons and freebies.

When there are multiple concurrent Fests, we will decide based on longevity, size and costs of the Fests.

So, from Scottish Fest to Indian Summer, Summerfest to Port Washington Fish Day, I will do my best to see it all and pass along the experiences of Every Fest MKE.